The Reclusive Toad...

Where do I begin? How do I even do justice in explaining the title because the title in itself once I've explained what it means, will surely catch on and become the new ‘fetch’… hahaha oh please who am I kidding? But okay, here it goes…

I had done a solid year of the FFF challenge, 17-18^th birthday, yay!! I did it J. Coincidentally it was also my last year of high school when I finished the challenge, so I had about 5 months until I was officially finished with being a child (depressing, yes I know).

So I finished HSC, and then went into what seemed like the busiest and most thrilling summer of my life- the post HSC phase. I did schoolies, formal, graduation, went on a family holiday interstate, got into uni, went to parties and outings and all that jazz all the way up until the start of semester 1.

So when uni started things changed. Slowly and really without me intending to, I formed into what I now call- the reclusive toad. Basically I unknowingly removed myself from all social outings except with my close friends or if it was important and usually I’m the type of girl who will attend everything simply because I like socialising.

It wasn't intended but that first semester turned into some much needed ‘me time’. I think I had spent almost all of high school focusing on my friends and particularly the last two years of high school- I was focused on making it out of there as efficiently as I could whilst having a good time. So when that summer rolled around and I did so much stuff and then chucking in uni- a new and wild environment, totally alone- I was exhausted.

I would like to believe that subconsciously mini me inside, said ‘gurl you be crazy? We’re so tired of being out and about-stay home, watch movies & t.v shows and eat’ and so there you have it, I became a reclusive toad.

Reclusive meaning closed off from the larger world and toad because well it works alongside reclusive and I always picture toads, alone, on a lily, croaking away and totally content with life.

Now enough fluff about my life and let’s get down to the nitty, gritty stuff.

 Everyone knows that you need quality alone time now and then but no one really applies it let’s be honest.Who actually goes out of their way to plan ‘alone time?’ When I say alone time, I mean almost 100% removed from society physically other than your family, not going out-just simply being at home, alone with your feelings and thoughts.

Quite frankly, I think most of us are scared of being by ourselves with just our minds as company and our thoughts as stimulating and interesting conversation. However though as scary and horrible as it seems post reclusive toad phase, I have no regrets.

I’m glad I gave myself a chance to breathe and just re-learn how to be comfortable in my own company. I allowed myself to be at home, depressed and feeling down than being out and about in that state or even worse, trying to cover it up.

Semester 1 ended, and I had about 6 weeks to just chill and relax and get in touch with reality outside my house and hang out with my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I totally missed interacting with people face to face other than my family. It was refreshing and it just made me appreciate my friends even more especially my closest friends since they stuck by me during my little phase though I’m sure I wasn't the best fun.

Wrapping it up, when you start to feel emotionally and socially exhausted, don’t be afraid to take a step back and just have some much needed down time. Just like anything else, a healthy balance is always best.