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Detox in my own terms means to rid the system (system being ourselves) of all toxic and foreign matter. The type of detox cocktail I’m going for here is more the social and psychological.
The biggest downfall for girls in all aspects of life is having expectations. Not saying that expectations are bad, but over fantasising and dreaming is what will eventually lead to heartache and distortion of reality.
One of the worst misconceptions about life made by girls is in the ‘love’ department. We watch movies, listen to songs, read books, hear about other people’s love lives and have grand expectations about love, how it happens, when it happens and who will be that boyfriend. The worst is girls having the expectation that at some point within their teenage phase they should obtain a boyfriend. Now let’s get real here ladies and gentlemen. Pop culture and other sources of knowledge would lead us to believe that dating in high school is a frequent and normal part of the experience for everyone. Lies. A research done by Child Trends Data Bank an American organisation found that the levels of dating had actually dropped to 17% in 2012. Furthermore they went on to say that levels of 12th grade students who were not dating at all increased to 36%!!!. So in America, according to this report, more than a third of 12th grade students reported not dating at all, nothing, nah duh, all of highschool mates!
If the statistics,the American stats because I couldn’t find any on Australia but we’re similar so let’s just go with that ) show that less than half of the population lives the fantasy, why is it that we still long for this dream? I’m still trying to understand this myself but one factor is becoming clearer-mindset. It’s all about your frame of mind and how you allow yourself to think.
You have to make a conscious effort to actually reprogram yourself to reverse every expectation founded on fiction and misrepresentations of reality. Don’t expect to magically fix yourself overnight or a couple of months. It’s an ongoing process.
The only way to change or detox your mindset is to expose yourself to different materials and environments. Read more classical works that actually explore real and tangible themes. Don’t be afraid to do the ‘nerdy thing’. How will you differentiate yourself from the crowd if you’re like every other carbon copy on the dance floor? What makes life interesting is our differences and certainly not our ability to match our friends.
Here is a list of books to read that should hopefully start to widen your horizons on the possibilities of life other than romance and that oh so sweet high school romance or simply show the pitfalls of having way too many over the top expectations.
1. Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
2. Act like a lady, Think like a Man by Steve Harvey ( there’s a movie also-it’s great :) )
3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
My number one tip to achieving this detox that overrules the above 3 suggestions is to actually try and stop yourself from day dreaming about how you will meet ‘him’, what he will be like, what you’ll be wearing, all the wonderful times you’ll have. Because you are actually training your brain to not live in the present and so you aren’t actually living each and every day to its full potential. You are kind of walking around with sunglasses on set to only pick up particular wavelengths. Those wave lengths are what you’ve cooked up in your imagination. So when something magical or unexpected happens, when a guy who is probably exactly what you need not want, comes by, you will completely and utterly miss him because you aren’t fully aware and awake in that present moment.
And that’s how girls complain, they don’t have the life they wanted or the guy they need, or they will never meet someone because all these expectations they have, haven’t been met. No you probably have it all, you’re just not present enough to notice and that my friends is how time goes by and people leave and when we notice we are already two seconds too late.
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