Confidence is the key

If there is one thing I wish came in bucket loads and could be gifted to everyone when they are born it’s that one little word, aura, characteristic, personality trait: confidence. It’s the difference between; the ‘who wore it better’ contests at times, between saying hello to someone or passing them by, it’s the difference between taking a leap of faith and letting fate, or whatever you want to believe, in take control. Confidence is the key to succeeding in anything no matter how crazy and non-feasible the idea seems to the rest of the world.

Now I think we all have the capacity to be confident, for some it comes easier than others whilst for other people it’s like a muscle, it has to be trained to function and grow stronger. You have to start with the little things, like actually believing in your ability to be an engaging and interesting person. No, I don’t mean having an ego and thinking you’re all that, I mean believing that you are capable of holding your own in any experience. Because what do you think is the one thing stopping people or yourself from trying new things or making new friends? The fear that you won’t measure up to that other person’s unforeseen, unknown expectations.

I’m currently in my 2^nd year of university and never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever lose the capacity to believe that I can be an engaging and interesting person and wind up feeling completely lost. So how did I write the two paragraphs above if I’m constantly in a never ending funk of confusion, perceived boredom, lack of inspiration and drive? It’s because I remember what it was like to be the more confident version of myself. I found it so easy to just smile at strangers or see someone and think I’m going to go up to them and say hello and see where it goes. I remember what it was like to have goals and have the confidence and assurance that I could achieve them by the due date. I remember what it felt like to be sure about myself, where I was coming from and where I’m going.

Now, in this world of post high school, trying to find one’s feet and placement in this world, blurred lines of what achievement means, seeking fulfilment and social media bringing your competition closer to your bubble than what’s remotely comfortable or bearable it’s easy to feel trapped, lost and stuck.

I’m sure I’m not the only one facing such issues. We leave high school but no one really prepares you for the reality of what newly minted adulthood means. My dad said people warn you about some challenges that you might face with friends, academic pursuits, work life but young people (-as the older, wiser generation refers to us-) never listen, understand or comprehend until they experience. Truth.

So I usually end every post with tips or ways that I think we can all improve on whatever topic  discussed but the truth is on this particular post I have no clue whatsoever myself because I’m not out of the gutter/the funk and back to the level of the 2 opening paragraphs. I’m slowly but surely crawling my way out.

So in light of this, perhaps I should share things that I find are helping me crawl out.

• Comparison is the thief of joy-Theodore Roosevelt. Need I explain it further? Stop comparing your life to your friends or people you see on social media, you just fall right back down into that hole/funk.
•  Regular journal/diary entries. Soothes the soul and keeps the crazy voices of doubt in your head at bay
• Regular exercise. Oxygen to your brain, ohhh wow think more clearly. Higher energy levels, more alert, increased productivity levels. You start to feel like you’re finally getting somewhere nearer to those goals.
•  Ownership of what’s getting you in a funk. Know your trigger points. March on forward with 20/20 hindsight.
•  Balance. Don’t let your life revolve around one thing. Go back to what used to inspire you, what you were once passionate about.

Knowledge from experience is to me crucial to moving forward and upward. The little confidence I have helped me start this blog with a small leap of faith. Imagine what you could do with your small ounce of confidence that will eventually grow.  Hang in there.